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A fire I hope will never be extinguished

Here's something i wrote a couple of years ago when i had to take a break from playing because of my 12th class board exams...

I stare at my books… Try to read… ‘Supply is directly proportional to the price of a commodity’… It doesn’t register. I continue to read… ‘Law of supply states the relationship…’- it still doesn’t register. I shake myself, jump around and sit down again, hoping it made a difference, but knowing deep down that nothing can change the way I feel.

“Give it one more shot”, I tell myself. For the twenty-third time I open my Economics book hoping I will finally understand ‘the law of supply’ and all that’s related to it, and for the twenty-third time in a row, I fail.

“Why?” I ask myself. “Why can’t you concentrate? Even for five minutes.” “You’re disturbed”, my mind tells me, “and you know that.”

Finally I give in. I accept defeat. Yes, I am disturbed, but it’s just because and essential part of my life seems to be missing.

“SEEMS to be?” I question angrily. “It IS missing.”

Cricket- and essential part of my life- it’s missing, and I won’t be able to find it until I finish with my ISC Board Exams.

Tears roll down my eyes… My mind drifts to the lush, green outfield of ‘Gymkhana’, covered with the morning dew and full of footprints of all the Indian cricket hopefuls from Hyderabad- boys and girls alike. Dilip ‘bhaiya’, our fitness trainer, walks in, his hands full of ‘cones’ and ‘plastic stumps’. “Good morning, girls”, he says. “Good morning, bhaiya,” we chorus. “Today we will run for…..”

My mind drifts back to the present. Tears still streaming down my face.

THAT’S what I’m missing- CRICKET.

To me, cricket’s more than just a game, it’s my life. It’s my drug- I’m addicted to it- I can’t live without it.

My mission in life is to wear that Indian cap, represent my country in an international match. I’ve got the will to work for it, and a fire- that’s burning VERY bright- that will push me until I wear those colours.

These few months without any competitive matches or proper practice are going to be a struggle. Two weeks have passed and I’m already brutally wounded. It’s like I’m half-dead, because of a wound that is bleeding freely and cannot possibly be healed. I have this feeling at the bottom of my heart that I cannot explain. It’s a type of dull pain that’s telling me that something’s wrong. It’s like I’m being pulled by this invisible force that can’t be stopped. “Help!”, I cry, but I know no one can save me. I continue to be consumed by this feeling that I don’t understand.

I hope this fire is never extinguished… I hope it continues to burn- brighter every day!

(7/12/2008; 23:14 Hrs)

Comments

  1. Shebani27 February 2011 at 12:25

    You're very passionate about the game... Very evident... Keep the fire burning bright... It'll happen...

    ReplyDelete
  2. sacshi5 March 2011 at 18:56

    awesome..:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ritu Gopal8 March 2011 at 20:34

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ritu Gopal8 March 2011 at 20:36

    For the batsman in you...:)

    I always wanted to fire rays out of my fingertips.
    Len Wein

    ReplyDelete

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