Skip to main content

A fire I hope will never be extinguished

Here's something i wrote a couple of years ago when i had to take a break from playing because of my 12th class board exams...

I stare at my books… Try to read… ‘Supply is directly proportional to the price of a commodity’… It doesn’t register. I continue to read… ‘Law of supply states the relationship…’- it still doesn’t register. I shake myself, jump around and sit down again, hoping it made a difference, but knowing deep down that nothing can change the way I feel.

“Give it one more shot”, I tell myself. For the twenty-third time I open my Economics book hoping I will finally understand ‘the law of supply’ and all that’s related to it, and for the twenty-third time in a row, I fail.

“Why?” I ask myself. “Why can’t you concentrate? Even for five minutes.” “You’re disturbed”, my mind tells me, “and you know that.”

Finally I give in. I accept defeat. Yes, I am disturbed, but it’s just because and essential part of my life seems to be missing.

“SEEMS to be?” I question angrily. “It IS missing.”

Cricket- and essential part of my life- it’s missing, and I won’t be able to find it until I finish with my ISC Board Exams.

Tears roll down my eyes… My mind drifts to the lush, green outfield of ‘Gymkhana’, covered with the morning dew and full of footprints of all the Indian cricket hopefuls from Hyderabad- boys and girls alike. Dilip ‘bhaiya’, our fitness trainer, walks in, his hands full of ‘cones’ and ‘plastic stumps’. “Good morning, girls”, he says. “Good morning, bhaiya,” we chorus. “Today we will run for…..”

My mind drifts back to the present. Tears still streaming down my face.

THAT’S what I’m missing- CRICKET.

To me, cricket’s more than just a game, it’s my life. It’s my drug- I’m addicted to it- I can’t live without it.

My mission in life is to wear that Indian cap, represent my country in an international match. I’ve got the will to work for it, and a fire- that’s burning VERY bright- that will push me until I wear those colours.

These few months without any competitive matches or proper practice are going to be a struggle. Two weeks have passed and I’m already brutally wounded. It’s like I’m half-dead, because of a wound that is bleeding freely and cannot possibly be healed. I have this feeling at the bottom of my heart that I cannot explain. It’s a type of dull pain that’s telling me that something’s wrong. It’s like I’m being pulled by this invisible force that can’t be stopped. “Help!”, I cry, but I know no one can save me. I continue to be consumed by this feeling that I don’t understand.

I hope this fire is never extinguished… I hope it continues to burn- brighter every day!

(7/12/2008; 23:14 Hrs)

Comments

  1. Shebani27 February 2011 at 12:25

    You're very passionate about the game... Very evident... Keep the fire burning bright... It'll happen...

    ReplyDelete
  2. sacshi5 March 2011 at 18:56

    awesome..:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ritu Gopal8 March 2011 at 20:34

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ritu Gopal8 March 2011 at 20:36

    For the batsman in you...:)

    I always wanted to fire rays out of my fingertips.
    Len Wein

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When the ball began to roll...

Like most Indian children, I grew up in a household where cricket was one of the most talked about subjects-- this though, only after i was 7! Till then I had been locked away in the cricket-free country of the United States of America. I spent four years in that country, playing almost all the sports it had to offer, but never hearing the word "cricket" (apart from the insect, of course). Almost as soon as we returned to India, the wave of euphoria surrounding the sport hit me unawares. As a 7 year old, who had no idea that a sport could become a religion in a country as large as India, it was rather scary. I took a while to adjust to it, but like most other Indians, I took to the game quickly. With a lot of help from my grandfather ('Thatha'- my mother's father), i picked up on the various rules of the sport and before I knew it, cricket had become an important part of my life. I started off playing on the terrace with my father and a tennis ball. We had the ...
7 comments
Read more

Walking: A matter of opinion

‘To walk?’ or ‘Not to walk?’ The debate has been raging for a long time, and I’ve finally decided to have my say. It was only yesterday, that Sachin Tendulkar ‘walked’ after he was given ‘not out’ by umpire Steve Davis when he was caught behind of Ravi Rampaul. The edge was so thin, it wasn’t even picked up on the replay, and there was hardly a noise too—but the Master still walked! Had Sachin stood his ground, and had the West Indians called for a review, I’m assuming they would have lost one (and thus, Steve Davis’ record of 100% correct decisions, this World Cup, would’ve remained). In contrast, two days ago, Ricky Ponting clearly nicked one and was caught by Kamran Akmal- he was given ‘not out’ by Umpire Erasmus. (I personally believe that umpire Erasmus was so shocked that Akmal took the catch he was unable to make a decision!) The Pakistanis reviewed the decision, and replays clearly showed that there was a healthy edge, and Ponting was made to look quite the fool. He justified...
6 comments
Read more

The best match i've ever played

October 16, 2008—Hyderabad U-19 v/s Andhra U-19-- it was one of the most amazing matches I’ve played in my career so far. It had its share of ups and downs, and the match was in itself was a roller coaster ride. Leading up to the match, we had won only 2 out of our four previous games, which meant we were out of contention for a place in the All India nationals. We had come back strongly after losing our first two matches, by beating Tamil Nadu and Goa quite comprehensively. The team had shown a lot of character to come back the way it did. We proved to everyone that we were no pushovers, that we’d give them a run for their money. That side had players who in a couple of years became match-winners, but were at that stage ‘ bachas ’ (as they all like to call themselves). We had only one real ‘established’ player in the side, and that was captain/ wicket-keeper, Sindhuja Reddy. Sindhu was an extremely good captain. She had the ability to get the best out of her players, no matter wha...
4 comments
Read more